More Than "Shyness"—What Is Social Anxiety?

Everyone feels shy or nervous in social situations from time to time. Maybe you feel a little awkward at a party where you don't know many people, or you get butterflies before giving a presentation at work. These feelings are normal and usually temporary.

But social anxiety disorder is something different, and it's more than just occasional nervousness. It's an intense, persistent fear of social situations that can significantly impact your daily life. Because shyness and social anxiety disorder share some similarities, people with social anxiety disorder often struggle to recognize they need help or may feel dismissed when they try to seek support.

Understanding the difference between typical shyness and social anxiety disorder is an important first step toward getting the support you or a loved one may need.

What Shyness Looks Like

Shyness is a feeling of reservation or discomfort in social situations. You might feel shy when meeting new people, speaking in front of a group, or being the center of attention. These feelings typically fade as you become more comfortable in the situation.

Common experiences of shyness include:

• feeling embarrassed in social situations

• feeling uncomfortable being the center of attention

• having trouble making eye contact with others

• feeling self-conscious

• speaking softly

• worrying about how others perceive you

• viewing yourself negatively in social contexts

While these feelings can be uncomfortable, they don't typically prevent you from engaging in important activities or relationships.

Understanding Social Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety disorder involves many of the same symptoms as shyness, but they're much more intense and persistent. The key difference is that social anxiety disorder impairs your ability to function in daily life.

People with social anxiety disorder experience intense fear about social situations and will go to great lengths to avoid them. This avoidance can lead to complete social withdrawal and may contribute to other mental health concerns.

Mental and Emotional Signs of Social Anxiety Disorder

Beyond typical shyness, social anxiety disorder includes:

• An intense fear of interacting with strangers

• Extreme anxiety when anticipating social activities or situations where you'll be the center of attention (like work presentations)

• Replaying social interactions afterward and analyzing everything you said or did

• A negative internal voice that tells you that you should feel embarrassed about how you behaved

• Expecting the worst possible outcome from social situations

Physical Symptoms

Social anxiety disorder often comes with physical symptoms, including:

• Digestive issues

• Dizziness or lightheadedness

• Muscle tension

• Upset stomach

• Sweating

• Rapid heartbeat

Avoidance Behaviors

Avoiding social situations is a hallmark of social anxiety disorder, which ultimately disrupts their daily lives. People with social anxiety disorder may:

• Avoid going to work or school

• Have difficulty entering a room where people are already seated

• Be unable to return items to a store

• Struggle with dating

• Find it impossible to use public restrooms

• Have difficulty eating in front of others

Getting Support

If you recognize these patterns in yourself or someone you care about, it's important to know that help is available. While some children naturally grow out of shyness and become more self-confident, others don't, and shyness can develop into social anxiety disorder.

Children with social anxiety disorder often don't develop appropriate social behaviors and may struggle to integrate themselves socially. Early intervention can make a big difference.

Treatment options that have proven effective for social anxiety disorder include:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

• Medication (when appropriate)

• Addressing co-occurring mental health concerns like depression or substance use issues

If you're struggling with social anxiety, you don't have to face it alone. Reach out today to learn how anxiety counseling can help you move beyond the limitations of social anxiety and build more fulfilling connections with others.